Creating a Sanctuary: How Our Homes Calm or Activate Our Nervous Systems
For much of my life, I believed rest was something I had to earn.
I grew up in a family where chaos was the norm. There were frequent fights, raised voices, and emotional drama. Home was unpredictable. I never knew what mood someone would be in—or when things might explode. Growing up in that kind of emotional inconsistency taught my nervous system to stay alert at all times: to read the room, anticipate moods, and prioritize survival over softness.
Even as an adult, I carried that hypervigilance into my relationships—and into my home. My body never fully relaxed. Rest felt uncomfortable. Silence felt suspicious. Calm felt temporary. And when it was calm, it felt boring.
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