Many of you may not know this, but I am fiercely independent. One of my weaknesses has been not wanting to ask for help or appear “weak.” I have often been the person who would search the internet to fix something myself instead of calling a repair person or asking a friend for help. I would stay up late working on projects instead of assigning tasks to people who had offered to assist me. In my mind, I told myself, “I didn’t want to bother anyone,” “I could handle it,” or other phrases that sounded good at the time. Although I would get things done, I often felt frustrated, exhausted, or worn out when finished.
I did this for years, but as I began to tell clients and conference participants about the importance of accepting help, I realized I needed to practice what I was preaching. When I took my own advice, I learned that accepting help was not such a bad thing. Let’s talk about why we don’t accept help, the benefits of doing so, and how to feel good about your decision.
According to Why You Can’t Ask For Help (Nelson, 2022), there are several reasons people do not ask for help, including:
Fear of Being a Burden
People sometimes feel that they will inconvenience others or make them feel obligated, which may come from a fear of being rejected later.
Independence and Self-Reliance
Another reason is the fear that asking for help will diminish their ability to manage on their own. They may see it as a sign of weakness.
Social Stigma
There is a societal expectation to be self-sufficient and capable of doing it all. Our society has adopted the notion of the “Superwoman Syndrome,” leading many to believe that asking for help is a sign of failure, resulting in feelings of embarrassment or shame.
So, why should we ask for help? Here are three benefits of doing so:
Emotional and Psychological Benefits
Asking for help can relieve stress and anxiety because you are sharing the tasks and responsibilities. If you are working in a committee or group, it also helps foster a sense of connection and belonging.
Improved Problem-Solving Skills and Creativity
Asking for help and working with others can provide fresh ideas, diverse perspectives, and new skills. When I allowed others to help me, I discovered people around me who had skills I did not, such as using Canva. They were able to create incredible flyers that I couldn’t have made myself, saving me hours of time and frustration.
Building and Strengthening Relationships
By asking for help, you open yourself up to meeting new people and strengthening existing friendships and other relationships. You give people a chance to be supportive and showcase their talents. You also give yourself the opportunity to develop a support system that may last a lifetime.
Learning to ask for help is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of strength and self-awareness. Embracing support can alleviate stress, enhance creativity, and build deeper connections with others, ultimately enriching both our personal and professional lives. By challenging societal stigmas and overcoming fears of being a burden, we open ourselves to growth, collaboration, and meaningful relationships. Remember, accepting help is not about admitting defeat but about recognizing that we are stronger together. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed or stuck, consider reaching out—you may find that asking for help is one of the most empowering choices you can make.
