When I think of the journey to peace and purpose, the song “Beans & Corn Bread” by Louis Jordan and the Tympany Five comes to mind. I first heard it in the movie Malcolm X years ago, and the melody has stuck with me, echoing in my mind ever since. The song itself is a comforting mix, much like the balance between peace and purpose—two elements we often hope will go hand in hand.
At first glance, it seems logical that where there is purpose, peace should naturally follow. But what happens when you’re not entirely comfortable with your purpose? What if the path that feels right doesn’t necessarily feel calm?
For instance, in my own experience, I became a certified grief coach and founded Good Grief Now!™, an international 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to grief support. I’m deeply grateful for this purpose, for the opportunity to serve and help others. Yet, despite this gratitude, I haven’t always felt at peace with it. And I’ve often asked myself why.
Reflecting on this, I think of how I became what some call an “adult orphan.” All my parents—including my maternal grandparents, godparents, mother and father—have passed away. The most significant losses, my grandfather and mother, occurred just 16 days apart in 2017. Out of that grief, I created Good Grief Now!™—starting it as a day party, of all things. It may sound contradictory, but it was necessary; there was a lack of traditional support for grievers. I wanted to offer something different.
But despite this, peace remained elusive. How could I feel calm when I was still reeling from such profound loss? And yet, four years later, during the pandemic, the nonprofit expanded into what it is today. I was doing meaningful work, but still, I struggled to find peace.
Through this journey, I began to realize that finding peace while figuring out your purpose is not always straightforward. There are a few insights that helped me navigate this process:
Acknowledge All Your Feelings
The first step is to acknowledge all the feelings that come with the journey. It’s okay to feel conflicted about your purpose. You might experience fulfillment mixed with discomfort, doubt or even anger. I had to honor all these feelings as valid parts of my own path, recognizing that my purpose was deeply tied to my personal grief and the resistance I felt toward accepting it.
Embrace the Evolving Nature of Purpose
Your purpose doesn’t have to be fixed; it can grow and change with you. It’s okay if your purpose looks different now than it did years ago. Sarah Jakes Roberts, an acclaimed speaker, often talks about how purpose is for the long haul and can take different forms over time. I came to understand that where I am right now is purposeful, but finding peace may require allowing that purpose to evolve.
Find Peace in the Present
Another key is to find peace in the present moment. Ask yourself, “What can I do now that aligns with my values and feels right today?” Peace often begins by being present and grateful for where you are, even if it’s not where you ultimately want to be.
Resolve to Accept Your Purpose
Sometimes, finding peace is about resolving to accept your purpose, even if it feels challenging or uncomfortable. The longer I evaded or avoided my calling, the more restless I became. I found that embracing my purpose, even when it felt imperfect, allowed peace to come to me more readily.
Create Rituals of Calm
Creating rituals of calm can also help you feel grounded. Whether through meditation, journaling or a quiet walk, these practices can offer moments of peace even in the midst of purposeful work.
Connect with Support
Lastly, connect with others—friends, mentors or support groups—who can provide perspective, encouragement and moments of laughter that make the process less daunting.
These tips helped me realize that finding peace is an ongoing adventure. Sometimes, peace is easy to find; other times, it feels elusive, like something that remains invisible until a certain moment. Merriam-Webster defines peace as a state of tranquility or calm, which makes me think that there should be some calm in the work we do over the long haul. But perhaps peace isn’t a constant state. It could be found in fleeting moments of acceptance or in the deep breath taken after a hard day. It might be more closely tied to how well we resolve that our purpose is our purpose, whether it feels perfect or not.
The more I reflect on this, the more I see that peace and purpose are dynamic and deeply personal. They are shaped by our experiences, growth and the evolving versions of ourselves. It’s okay for your purpose to shift as you change and grow. So, as you continue your journey, remember that finding peace is not just about reaching a destination; it’s about the choices you make, the support you seek and the comfort you allow yourself to experience along the way.
Ultimately, I’ve come to believe that peace and purpose can coexist, but they are not always simultaneous. Purpose isn’t static, and neither is peace. Both require flexibility, patience and a willingness to embrace the unknown. And maybe, just maybe, we find peace—like a comforting side of beans and cornbread—as we learn to navigate the ever-changing path of our purpose.
