Expert Advice from Ardenna Downing, Licensed Professional Counselor
Question
Dear Hope+Wellth, I haven’t seen my father since I was 8. I’m 42 and think it might be the reason I’m still single. I don’t trust that people are going to stay in my life so I don’t get too close. What can I do about this because I don’t want to be this way?
Answer
This question indicates some insight and self reflection on the connection between childhood experiences and relational attachment with others. This is a great starting place for healing! Experiencing abandonment at such a young age can have profound and long term impact on relationships. Negative early life experiences can shape our beliefs and perceptions of ourselves, others and the world at large. These experiences can naturally contribute to feelings like fear and anxiety, which may influence behaviors like disconnecting from others in order to protect ourselves.