There might be moments in your life when you find yourself trying to fix things—convincing yourself that if you just say the right thing or put in enough effort, you can change someone’s behavior. But deep down, you know how draining that is, and how little it actually works. You can’t control other people. What you can do is decide how much access they have to your energy and your life.
Think about a relationship where you’ve felt this struggle. Maybe it’s a friend who always leans on you but disappears when you need them. At first, you might try harder—listening more, giving more, hoping they’ll eventually do the same. But when their behavior doesn’t change, it becomes clear: their actions are outside of your control. What is in your control is deciding where they belong in your life.
By stepping back and reassessing, you start to see things differently. Instead of trying to fix or force a connection, you ask yourself honest questions: Are they willing and capable of meeting me where I am? Do their actions align with my values? Do they uplift me, or do they drain me? These questions help you set boundaries—not out of frustration, but as a way to protect your energy and prioritize your well-being. You don’t have to give the best version of yourself to everyone, especially not to people who’ve shown, through their actions, that they’re unwilling to meet you halfway.
When you start shifting the way you approach relationships, you’ll feel the weight lift. You’re no longer trying to mold someone into who you wish they were. Instead, you’re choosing to focus on the relationships that matter—the ones that are rooted in mutual respect, support, and understanding. Some connections will naturally move to the background, while others will flourish as they’re nurtured from both sides. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it for the peace it brings.
What’s beautiful about this process is how empowering it is. Instead of being caught up in what others are doing—or not doing—you’re choosing to align your relationships with your values and needs. You’re allowing yourself to grow, too, by surrounding yourself with people who reflect the kind of energy you want in your life. And as you grow, you naturally attract and build deeper, more fulfilling connections.
So the next time you catch yourself feeling stuck in a one-sided dynamic, take a moment to pause. You don’t have to change anyone, but you can change where they fit in your life. By setting boundaries and curating your inner circle with intention, you’re creating space for the kind of relationships that truly uplift and support you. And in doing so, you’re choosing a healthier, more balanced path for yourself.