Stories That Heal

By Judith Brewer

As a young woman in my 20’s, I struggled each day with who I was. I didn’t know my purpose because I was still learning my strengths and weaknesses, and most of all, just who Judy really was. Mistakes from my teenage years followed me into my 30’s where I still wasn’t sure why God put me on this earth. I didn’t go to college, so I was seeking to develop viable skills. I got my real estate license and “flipped” houses. By the time I was 35 I had four wonderful children, three boys and one girl. I was determined to be the best mother I could be, but how could I do that without knowing how to handle life’s challenges? I lost myself in my children for a while until they reached their teenage years. I bought and sold real estate and worked a full-time job to make ends meet. Each day was a test, and I was determined to pass each challenge one day at a time. 

In my 40’s, I finally stopped comparing myself to others and stopped worrying about whether or not I measured up to everyone else’s expectations of me, and started learning to seek God. I stopped letting “Judy’s” idiosyncrasies put me in dark, lonely places that were detrimental to myself and my children. These were spaces that identified my low self-esteem, which I wasn’t proud of at all. I wanted to leave a legacy for my children’s children – something to make them proud of me even if they’d never met me.