Relationships

By Rene Mondy, LPC

I’ve spent more than two decades helping women navigate life transitions as a therapist. And as a Black woman who has walked through divorce, remarriage, and shifting circles of friendship, I know firsthand what it feels like when the people you once leaned on don’t quite fit anymore. 

When I divorced 15 years ago, my girlfriends were my lifeline. We had Saturday brunch rituals with strawberry waffles and fried chicken at my house, comfort food that helped me heal. They were my confidantes, my cheerleaders, my “we’ve got you” circle. But when I later met my now-husband, things shifted. The phone calls slowed. The brunches fizzled. By the time I announced my engagement, I could feel the air change. I got congratulations, but it felt hollow, like I was celebrating in a room full of strangers who looked like my closest friends. 

Some eventually admitted they resented the changes. Others said we simply grew apart. Both were true. Both stung. And both taught me something that’s now at the heart of my work with women, friendships evolve just like romantic relationships. Sometimes they last a lifetime. Sometimes they’re seasonal. And sometimes, letting go is exactly what makes room for growth.