Expert Advice

I remember the morning I turned 30. I woke up next to my then-partner, wondering what the day and the year ahead had in store for me. I also remember that alongside the anticipation there was a sense of unease. A kind of questioning I could not quite name.

For too long, the conversation around perimenopause has been wrapped in whispers. Many women hear about hot flashes and mood swings, but few are prepared for the full scope of changes that arrive during this natural life stage. Perimenopause is often portrayed as a slow decline into aging, but in truth, it is a season of powerful transformation.

When you were a child, adults asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Maybe your parents saw you playing with another child and talked about you getting married to them one day. The expectations start young. They become ingrained and automatic, interwoven throughout our thoughts, driving our behaviors. Some expectations are stated explicitly, like when your mom says she wants you to start giving her grand babies or when your board says they need you to start hitting higher revenue targets.

When I launched Joy Life Counseling, I was operating with equal parts faith and grit. I didn’t have investors or a big safety net. I had a vision, a deep sense of calling and the funds from selling my late father’s home. That was the only capital I had to start building what is now a thriving group practice.

Today, Joy Life Counseling is home to four incredible therapists. But it didn’t start here. I began alone, fresh out of graduate school, without many examples of people who looked like me opening private practices—especially straight out of school.

Often, it’s an afterthought. You add all business tasks to your calendar before finding free time slots for personal care and spending time with friends and family. Of course, it seems like there is never enough time! Or maybe downtime and self-care are typically a reaction to recognizing burnout symptoms in team members or leaders in the business. 

Loss and grief make their way into each of our lives; it’s an inevitable part of life. While you have no control over when, where and how grief will show up, you do have a choice about how to respond to it. One response is to practice self-love. With time and effort, self-love can become an integral part of your journey.

As BIPOC women, we are often the backbone of our families and communities, showing up for everyone else but sometimes neglecting to prioritize our own health. This cycle often stems from cultural expectations, societal pressures, and systemic barriers in healthcare. Yet, proactive health care is not only an essential act of self-love—it’s a bold declaration of confidence and empowerment.

Did you know boundaries have power? Most of us grow up never being taught about the power of boundaries—their meaning and how to put them into practice. We move through life allowing others to cross and disrespect our boundaries without giving it a second thought.

I knew I’d be warmly greeted by the faces of my community. They would ask, “How are you doing?”—something I desperately needed that morning, as did many others on the call. Easton’s Nook, a retreat space for artists and writers, has been hosting virtual Saturday morning writing sessions since the pandemic began. Founded by two Black sisters, Jacquie and Nadine, their mission is to create space for Black writers and artists, rooted in community care and love.

Food and family during the holiday season can be both a blessing and a curse. While it is customary for many families to gather around food during the holidays, it’s also customary for many families to bring their food shaming, unsolicited opinions with them and this can make holiday gatherings less enjoyable.