Evolve & Grow

By Maya Rufino, LCSW

The Work of a Dream

What does it take to reach a dream? Planning, preparation, action. Time, energy, motivation. I tend to think of dreams as big long-term goals. You might dream of starting your own company, getting married, or retiring early. When you begin planning and preparing, you may realize there are many smaller goals to reach before you get to the big dream, with steps to take for each smaller goal. You may succeed sometimes, fail other times, and still reach the larger goal. 

When Dreams Stop Fitting

Occasionally, you may wonder if you still want this dream. How do you know when to let it go?

Since dreams require so much from us, we need to be intentional about choosing what to work toward. We need to acknowledge when a dream no longer fits in order to put our resources into a more worthy goal. The myth of “having it all” neglects the reality of finite resources such as time, and fails to acknowledge our limits as humans. We need to prioritize, or we’ll be spread so thin that nothing will be done well. 

Loss That Becomes Gain

When I look back on my journey in this life, I see growth through often painful failures. There were many times I grieved the loss of a dream. When I didn’t get into business school, I was angry at calculus for existing, unsure about where to go next. Business school would have included many steps and goals on the way to my dream of working in advertising. Without it, there was space to explore a new dream, and I found the exciting and daunting path to becoming a therapist. I am incredibly grateful for this loss that became a gain. Can you think of a time when you failed, thought you might be lost forever, and eventually gained something you could never have imagined? I think of this often when considering whether to let go of old dreams. 

What might you have space to start if you stop working toward the current dream?